In relation to my previous artsy blues, here is a sample of my crappy work. This is for my Vistech class. It's a building in case you think it's abstract :))

I have always wanted to be some artsy-fartsy type of girl. Let's say I was always drawn more to art than math (even though I'm Asian. Ahohoho.) My mother probably saw my passion and interest, plus *coughcough* potential, so when I was around 3 1/2, my mom enrolled me to some pre-school that offered art classes during the afternoon. Unfortunately, acrylic paint and charcoal pencil triggered my asthma so my mom had to stop those classes. I stayed at home with my humble box of 16 colors of Crayola. I drew and colored like every other toddler and that pretty much started my longing to become some sort of artist one day.

Fast forward to 14 years later, TADA! Here I am, a random 17-year-old freshman in college taking up Architecture. A lot think that people who take up this course are really skilled in drawing and stuff like that, but not me. I love my course, don't get me wrong, and being in this department inspires me so much to try new things and improve what little artistic skill/s I have. But taking up this course depresses me, more than it actually inspires me. Everyone is just so darn good at what they're doing! I envy a lot of artistic people, those who paint/sketch/play an instrument well. Every adult would advice people like me to "work harder!" or "don't compare yourself with others!" or "focus on your self!" and things like that, but I just can't help it!

My whole life I've stayed in one school from pre-elem to high school and believe me, they don't encourage individuality there. Art class was not as interesting as it should be. Let's say they focus more on enhancing your academic/speech skills and moral values. I'm not saying that that's a bad thing but I just wish they had enhanced the other side of our brain, the one in charge of the artsy stuff. If only it was balanced teaching. But I can't entirely blame my old school. I knew that I had to strive hard for myself. If only I practiced more. Sad thing is, I don't have enough self-confidence and I easily get discouraged if I can't get things right on the first try. Which is the very reason why I'm blah. My lazy self is far too hard-headed. Doh!

But, it's never too late to start now. Sure the process will be longer but I still got time. I'm young and have very few obligations compared to a married woman with 4 kids. I got time.

Lazy ass, move!

Read my last post and I was like O.O thinking where the heck did she come from?! ><;; But today is definitely better than yesterday. I miraculously woke up at 8:30 am despite the fact that I slept at 3:00am. I then took a huge crap, it was nasty. My stomach hurt a lot and Mama concurred that it was definitely the mango float leftover from NYE dinner.

On an unrelated note, I haven't started on any and I mean ANY of my homework just yet. I'm guessing I've got the New Year's hangover. Of course, I didn't prepare any New Year's resolution or whatnot because I'd just be disappointing myself. I have come to accept that I am a lazy bum by heart! I mean seriously, why go through all the crap when you clearly know you'll never commit to those promises. Call me pessimistic, but seriously? Think about that. So I watched The Proposal for the nth time today. Unfortunately, the net is being crappy again. Bummer. I reloaded the film and is still waiting for it to finish. I think I should just download this but bah, I've no more space on my hard drive. Bummer. I need a new HD! *rants*

Oh, I guess I have started on my homework. I searched for sample floor plans of a one storey house to get some ideas *coughtotallycopyingfromtheinternetcough* for my project. At least 5% of it is finished. It'll get there. *nyahahaha* Then I finally found the USB cable of the camera! So I uploaded the photos and burned copies for Mother-dear. Psssh. There's a USB, hello. So I continued labeling folders and organizing photos in my pc and I found the photos of my first ever miniature model! It's 2 months late but who cares?! It's my blog. Pssssh. So, here it is.

New Year's is so overrated. Whoever said it was happy is a fucking liar. I mean, we live in a world full of shit and lies. Yet you act like you know all and try to cover your filthy deeds with choco syrup. But it seems that you're not so smart after all. Haven't you already learned that one way or another, we will discover the dirty deeds your skinny ass has been doing? I mean at least I respected you but to stoop down to that level. WOW. Such an asshole.

I know that you're mad cause I simply left you speechless. You know what? It's not my fucking fault that your fucking brain can't seem to function well under confrontation. You use violence as your weapon. Pssssh. What a fucking coward. Don't think that your stupid defense mechanism is gonna stop me from hating your shitface. I despise you.

And you dare hurt her?! I swear if you lay a finger on her again, I'm going to erase you from my life. You say I'm bitter? Well, I guess that's better than being a liar. A fucking liar. You manwhore. I hope you get a happy fucking life out there. Suicidal now? Go on. It's your precious little life anyway. I really don't give a fucking damn anymore.

Yes, I have forgiven you but you abused that! Once again, you made this year fuck. Is it always going to be the same with you? Will this be a life-long cycle? You PROMISED you'd change but I guess you broke it AGAIN. What the hell. You have all the pleasure in life and yet you're still not satisfied?! Is it always just about the sex? What the hell is wrong with you people! Filthy low-lives.

I've lost all my respect for you. Bastard.

It's awfully quiet this New Year's Eve. The rain has been pouring non-stop since this morning ergo, no firecrackers/fireworks outside. Everyone's inside, quietly eating dinner together. What a strange way to the year. 2009 was awesum. The year I got out of high school and stepped onto college. Eck, I'm getting old. Speaking of high school, a few of my batch mates and I had dinner together last night. Not everyone showed up :| Oh well, one last get-together before this year ends and before Chelsea and the guys head back to their regular lives in Canada and Manila, respectively. Whut? Is that even right? HAHA.

Back to the weather. Since there are no fireworks outside, yet, cause maybe God will stop the rain from pouring for at least 10 mins..I entertained myself with my very own virtual fireworks show online :)) Such a geek.

Go wild! <--click to make your own virtual fireworks show~ Happy 2010!
I didn't know it could be possible. I want one!

So, my friends and I had another 'estrogen night' over a YM conference. This is why the internet is oh so awesome!\m/ <--inside joke AHOHOHO!

Back to the conference, only 4 dwarfs were present this time. The rest probably snoozed off already and one's visiting her tribe in Mindanao. Erm, tonight we talked about why us girls always say that we like nice guys yet we don't fall for an average-looking nice guy comes along. WHY? Then it occurred to us later in our discussion that we are superficial shallow people. We prefer good-looking nice guys. Yeah, they sweep us off our feet more than the average-looking guys. I guess looks really does matter. Then, we got into 'deeper' things like how one knows that she's falling for a guy. I wondered. How do we know we're falling for someone and not just padala? Friend A said that you just feel it, you just know, you just do. Really now? More opinions were typed and they all boiled down to the same answer, YOU JUST DO.

Another friend pops a query, how do you know a guy likes you? Friend B goes into details about the female intuition. Hmm, true that. But it's scary to think about such things. Assuming things is dangerous. It hit me that, when a guy does something that is unlikely of him to do..then that's something. You think so? Hmm.

THEN confession time, AGAIN :))

This week has been so far a blast. I love that feeling of almost-break-no-proper-class feeling. Yesterday, I skipped my English test to go Christmas shopping at 1oam and stayed in the mall til 9pm. Talk about intense shopping. So I'm through purchasing gifts for my friends. Now, I'm broke ._. Oh well, this happens only once a year anyway.

Ronnie invited us for dinner awhile so we ate at Oh George then had dessert at Vanille. I wanted to stay longer and chat with them guys but they had to leave early and I had to go to Ama's sister's wake. Next time then?

Excited for H4 reunion again with CHELSEA this time! I miss her mahn ._.

Hmm. After watching the Merry Christmas CAFA video, it just hit me that Christmas is almost here. Which means that New Year is just around the corner. WOW. Where did time go?

Oh, I think I'm falling for him..? HAHA. Strange.

Merry Christmas! :)

It just occurred to me that this time last year, the seven dwarfs were Christmas shopping at SM and hanging out at Carolyn's place, taking vain photos together and just having a darn good time! Man, a year has passed. Nostalgic.

I love the 6 dwarfs! I can't wait for the sleepover! :)

Mum's turned 46 today. Happy birthday Mama :)

Today's rather an interesting day. Mama's celebrating her 46th birthday today which she spent at the hospital looking after my 15-year-old cousin who got "paralyzed" yesterday (but thank God he is able to move his body parts now) because my Auntie had to be at her Mom's wake today which is at Rolling Hills where Keziah's wake is at, too. That was a mouthful and talk about WOAH. I wanted to visit both even though I barely knew both of them but our house help said that visiting two wakes on the same day can cause death among your loved ones. Susperstitions. So to just get everything over with and save everyone the hassle of arguing whether that belief is true or not, I decided to just stay home. :|

BTW, I still don't believe about the whole wake thing typed above :| [tinuohan sa buktot]

Something sad happened last Monday, a former schoolmate of mine has passed away. She's only 17. But as tragic as it sounds, at least she won't feel any pain already now that she's with Him. I didn't know her that well but I've had a few hellos with her before. Keziah, you will be remembered.